I have been too messed, i have been too solved.. Many times i was wrong, many times i agreed others were right even when i knew they were wrong. I was firm, but again i moulded many times too to adjust..A chameleon, to my instinct. I never knew my own true colors, my true form.. I was green when everything around me was green, i was red when everything around me was red. I was never too sure..I was never too open about myself. I was sceptical..I am sceptical..
A part of me still wonders..which side of my face is staring back at me from the mirror. The one that says ‘who cares’or the one that says ‘I do!’. BUUT at least it isn’t the same anymore. I am not lost.. I have found my edges to balance. I have realised, no matter which side i’m bending to, people who care despite all my nuisance will still stick with me. ‘BEING MYSELF’ is all that i can be for now and for life..to be happy.
BE YOURSELF”””’. I think i unlocked the ultimate secret to happiness in these two words. What do you think?? 🙂 🙂
My friend and i were walking down street when her friend joined in. He didn’t talk much so, i rather felt odd like a third wheel. Some time later he went his way and i tried to wave him a friendly goodbye but, he turned me a blind eye. I stood there feeling odd. Then my friend smiled at me and said..’You don’t notice it do you? He likes you.’
Well its been a long time since somone actually told me that i was being liked..yeah i gues i sound like pathetic little attention seeker.. huh? Well the thing is, i didn’t think i would be feeling this good after all those little nasty heartaches i had..
Now, however, there is this person..Never in my life i thought i would find someone completly other than my stereotype cute..He has moustache for god sake!!( Wel am sorry for guys with moustache out there. Am sure you rock with it but personally i was never fond of it.. 😉 ) Yeah, he is cute. And has charming personality and.. sorta has a strange humor that i can relate to.. And that belive me with my personality its a hard match to find. My friend thinks that i should ask him out. COZ she thinks he notices me…NOW, u know why this late night thought has ‘good vibes’ written on it. Don’t you? Hahahha
I might ask him out or i might not.. But, the good thing is, am glad to be feeling this way.. Its good to be back, feeling ‘bubbly’ again! Isn’t it?
Lately i have been thinking too much..It’s exhausting but i can’t seem to help it. There is no head, no tail. Feels like i’m going round and round on circles. I have been cutting through the wires, getting out, making an escape. Latching to one end hoping to get to another and out of the whirlpool. But there again, another endless circle traps me in. And now its making me think, all along perhaps it was me, bending the wires round and round. Perhaps it was me all along seeing things how i wanted it, making things how i sub consciously planned it..
It’s funny how mind plays tricks. All along it had always known, its me..never letting me realise i am’ my own victim.
I would like to thank you @SANDRA J. JACKSON for nominating me for my very 1st “Dragon’s loyalty
This is the link to her site. https://sandrajjackson.wordpress.com/
Dragon’s Loyalty Award Certificate
Continue reading “My Dragon’s loyalty award for Bloggers :)”