A checklist ‘suitability for marriage’.



A friend once told me ‘do you know who are the most racist in this world?’. I didn’t have to hear the answer. I knew and i know. ‘Asians’. Some may not agree to this but i talk  for the ‘majority’. It’s true. We are’ racist among ourselves, within our country, inside our communities, deeper in our neighbourhoods and segregated ‘inside and out’ even before we start to merge at the ground levels. So, it is no surprise to hear, we can be unwelcome of those outside the entire sphere. What better way to understand this division than understanding the basic principle of ‘Marriage’itself.

Let me begin, by sharing with you, my family’s expectation of me for choosing ‘Mr Right’. Believe me, it’s a very specific checklist, though it wasn’t presented to me initially as one. P.S Here is the reason why, i believe, i will be unmarried  ALLL my life. You’d be too, if you were in my place. 😉


meme centre

First, a simple geography and social background to help you understand why and how checklist came into  existence. Nepal is divided topographically into three distinct  areas. Himalayas, Hilly and Terai. With these three different regions, culture and  life style are also distinctly different. And another thing is, grossly Nepal has two distinct races of population. ‘Aryans’ and ‘Mongoloid’ which in former days didn’t prefer to intermingle among themselves. And within them, are still many subdivisions.

So, here is how this checklist works. For example, I am ‘Magar’ from mongoloid race. So what ‘list’ includes is, 1) A Nepali citizen, 2) Of Mongoloid race, 3) of Magar origin of same religious belief 4) with settlement in the hilly region  and 5) of same social hierarchy. Which means”” practically, my chances of finding ‘Mr Right’ narrows down from 50% to 25% and then to 12.5% with each additional category my parents decide to squeeze in!



Now imagine my dilemma, in UK!! I might as well have to  post my picture with a hoarding board saying, these are the checklist, eligible bachelors please apply if you fill in at least 3 out of five criteria s. hehhe.

Thank Goodness. My Parents are now willing to comply and be more flexible. They have now  expanded their checklist to following options. 1) Best if previous criteria s work. 2)IF NOT, a well educated Nepali Guy. 3)If NOT, a well educated, Asian Guy in same working field as me.

I don’t know if they are willing to be more flexible than this, but for now, i am just laughing hard. This definitely is a plot to keep me house bound with them for rest of their life!! hahha. But again, i do know someday , when they see me still unmarried in my late 30s or 40s..They are going to be like ‘ please just make sure.. you get married’. hehehe.



2017′ The Rest of my Resolutions. :)

I am excited to share more of my to/do  and to achieve list with you guys.

Yes, it’s true. People who talk  less, get more work done! I have met a lot of people, who jot down their goals in a secret diary, checkbox one by one and let their achievements and results speak out for them at the end of the year unlike ME. However, personally speaking for me, if it’s out, like here in wordpress, i will be more determined to follow them so i can proudly update . How about you?



Personal health and Development Section like i posted earlier, was a priority for me. Health must always come first. No matter how hard you work  or how much you earn, if you are not living long enough or are not feeling good enough, nothing is going to mean much. Remember. Now back to my 2017 highlights.

B)Education and Career

1)Pass the exams– The second most important priority.

My exams are knocking round the corner and i still feel like a bundle of mesh. Looking back, at all those months i spent ‘supposedly preparing’. I feel like, i could have been more productive. So, to avoid that happening again, i have worked out on a number of chapters i am going to cover each day. Suppose 10 chapters in 20 days would have me ending January with 200 chapters including revision and some days for good breaks. what do you think?Smart huh?  😉



2)Get a Job- Yup obviously. SO this year HAS to be the year. i land on my dream job i have been working on for years. Wish me luck”

3)Continuous Education- Interesting thing about human brain is the more you feed it, the more it learns. Yes i am not planning to be Einstein. He probably was born a genius, his parietal brain was 15% bigger than normal humans’ scientists say.

I am talking about, learning and getting to know stuffs other than own field. May be do so by pursuing  hobby like reading. Example, i have integrated this year a plan of getting to read articles or posts ‘relating to  anything’ every weekend, beside my own field. Perhaps humour or managing finance blogs or random musings or art and world, travel blogs  ‘all those magnificent stuffs’ or movie reviews..ANYTHING. Just to be more updated. and I have already added 5 story books on pending to be read this year, wattpad rocks too .:)



Don’t you find it fascinating when people can talk about other things beside just politics, health, economy or fashion. I am Monotonous  like everyone and

i want to break that stereotype. Hopefully.. 🙂


Honestly i have not started even earning. But from my history, i am very clear that i suck on money biz. So, saving is a definite plan this year. Not much..a certain amount by the end of the year to be proud of. Make sure you do to.. You never know, when you might be in need of that extra bucks. Like  times, when you need to cover  extra health fees, or repair  your vehicles. Or even safety net, if you are planning to quit your job,retire soon. And oh oh don’t forget for ‘the vacations’!!



D)Working out on my ‘Blog’.

–WE always have something that sparks our interests. That we love doing, beside what we always do for living. Writing has been my thing. Hence this blog. You can start up too..advantages of creating a  blog is tremendous, someday i will be posting here ‘why’. For now, my plan is to pursue it passionately. Not like a tube light  i used to be ‘on and off, blink blink’. NO it will be consistent starting now. A blog every friday  .

–Variety and exploring and learning and sharing will be my new theme.

I am a youtube scavenger. And i will tell you, there are all sort of youtube videos there.Good and bad. However, I have promised myself to feed myself in the best of those, to inspire myself and keep burning my positive energy this year too. AND to share here with you guys. What inspires, educates and  and makes me feel good is bound to make atleast one person feel the same right.



— I have this crazy fiction fantasy novel in my head that i have been trying to get out of my head called ‘Entwined’ and it’s been there for like more than 1 year now. I am hoping, finally this  year will be the one, i will get it all out in words. THANK YOU to all those beautiful people who have prompted me to continue.

So……. there goes everything about ‘‘my New year’s” bird’s eye view. Starting from regular exercise to breaking bad habits. Learning ‘beautify’ tricks to trying to be ‘smart ass’ hehhe. And of course staying in touch with you guys and trying to know more about you  and what you write.. 🙂

May this year bring you joy, peace and with your loved ones together.  May it be ‘a year’ for you to look back’ on someday with that beautiful smile on your face while you sit on your old rocking chair  and be grateful for all the moment you have lived through. 🙂 




2017′ Will be my year!! :)

So… i did not just blow air to people on my previous blog ‘why making goals is important’ without working out on my own ‘to do’ list. Did you think, i would? Here, is the proof.

My Motto this year is GET OUT! GET OUT!      WAKE UP.GET UP. GET READY AND WALK OUT. (wasted too much time wondering, day dreaming, sleeping all my life. Now, that my youth is starting to wither away..i want to make the best efforts to make out max. Cut half of my slouching schedule, you know and fill that amount of time with productiveness.. money money 😉  Basically anything to remember by actually)



Don’t be upset to see my resolutions too detailed. Believe me, you have seen nothing yet. These are just the highlights.

I try making my goals as practical as possible so, by the end of year, i can actually checkbox them out and throw 🙂 i have made it rather descriptive here, hoping i might be of some help to people who still have not figured out what their resolutions for the new year are going to be..So here it goes,

A)Personal Health and Development.

1)Stay Fit New year is all about pampering yourself and boosting your inner self. I am quite conscious when it comes to health issues. And i think everyone should be.Because, there are lot of benefits to exercise. ‘Fitness/Confidence/Youth. My plan for this year, is to devote 20 mins of my time 3days/week on stretches. No heavy workout, just enough to be toned. 🙂 Sun/wed/Fridays. Because.. i found  having days assigned makes it easy  to be in routine.



2)Eat and drink Healthy Basically eating home cooked meals and fresh fruits. I never order fast food when i am alone, that has been a firm resolution of mine for years now. And i don’t fancy much sodas, caffeine or alcoholic beverages..so i am safe there too.  However starting this year, i will be adding a habit to eat a fruit everyday. An apple a day keeps doctors away..everyone knows that 🙂

woman with fruits rejecting junk food


3) Stay Beautiful No matter what the appearance is, staying fit and eating healthy obviously has miraculous effect on physical attributes. You may not realise it now..i keep telling people because we all are born with different looks and physique. And expecting sudden change just because you adapted these mantras now, is foolish. But studies and experiences from real life people have shown over the long term the benefits of adapting healthy life style are worth it.

So for myself i have added a routine of drinking a litre water everyday. (coz i am one of those, who doesn’t drink water till i start flapping like a fish outside of a pond 🙂 ) AND, another very important, my own personal project, learn make up!!! (It’s time for me now to embrace my feminine traits 😉 ) WEll not necessarily it has to be everyone’s goal,but  a little effort to look pretty can have good consequences. Not to forget,it boosts  confidence too. so why not? 🙂


4)Stay Connected Life is nothing without people around you who makes you feel special. So needless to say, i think its important to have some effort invested on making them realise how important they are. Some important festivals, birthdays and father’s/mother’s day..I have vowed myself to try my best not to miss it. And PICTURES!!! obviously’ I  will b taking them ‘loads’ for proof.

Friends- How can you forget them? Say ‘Never No’ to party when it’s your own gang throwing one! These are the moments you won’t have back. Everyone will be someday settled, far or too busy. Grab it..  plan to make best out of it! I Added a ‘trip’ this year to my logbook with friends. Excited!! 

And don’t be a loner. If you haven’t got friends nowhere near. Facebook.insta, twitter whatever..make a effort.Life doesn’t work with you trying to sit in a room and thinking of happy place. Everything requires effort.  If you ask me, i plan to check my profiles every weekends so i don’t miss out on their bad ass jokes or irritating sarcasms or anything they can afford to pitch me hehe.



5)Get what you wanted for so long.

Do it! Because you won’t have it again. And ‘life is short’. Whatever is your thing. For me,   i had a list of specific clothes i have been wanting to get, ‘a complete set’ since long time. The one that i always planned on having but  ended up not having due to other priorities. This year my savings are devoted just to my wardrobe..It’s just me.I am the focus.  I will treat myself good for achieving my goals of 2016 🙂



6)Get rid of old habits, junks. 

Yes the old habits that you always wanted to get rid of. Its time now. Throw them away today. But habits don’t go away easy, does it? So you have to make a routine..another habit to get rid of old one. My resolution ‘Stop Procrastinating’. Say ‘Now’ to everything. Had dinner, will do the plates tomorrow. What? NOPE. Do it right now, right after food is done. Get me? ‘Stop being Careless’ Be organised. Get the most important documents in one section, the needy ones in another and clean away the clutters.

And starting this year, i am developing a habit of cleaning room  strictly on Saturdays too. Lot of my personal belongings are missing..probably hiding somewhere in those pile of clothes ,papers or idk all that stuff that is heaped on that corner  😉




7) Try something New/Learn something New.

A new year means another year of opportunity to explore something other than what you have always had. Doesn’t have to be big. Take for example , change your hairstyle, change your wardrobe. Learn riding horse, car, bicycle etc etc. For me this year, trying something new would be oblivion. Lets see what chances life gives me..’Being Spontaneous’ sounds correct at the moment. But about learning something, it’s definitely cooking. Not planning to be a master chef, just to learn enough to survive in kitchen without setting house on fire 😉 Perfection at 3 dishes is the aim for now.

And i have always loved drawing. Would love to learn to pencil sketch. That’s a must try to/do thing for me this year. Following youtube gurus 🙂


my new favourite pass time hobby

(REST of my resolutions will appear tomorrow..It’s only 7 here haha! what about your resolutions? what are you doing this year?  Hope to read yours..may be i can add to mine :))





Love what you have.

You know some people are just.. so annoying. Like me! 🙂

Given there is a leak in the roof, i will start assuming the whole grumpy cloud is following ‘just me’ everywhere because God has planned it that way   and has decided to make my life miserable..suddenly somehow.  And so i slouch on couch firmly believeing  ‘i shouldn’t go out because i am having a bad day’..And i complain the whole time that i am wasting, sitting on it, telling on couch to whoever that passes by, about how it too.. is being against me today by not being comfortable enough… YUP. STAY AWAY FROM PEOPLE LIKE ME. 😉   



So, you got me..  i am a complainer. I like having one to one conversation with God, where obviously he is the silent partner and has to hear everything i have to say. I can be preety mean with my words but he made me say it..so there ‘I am forgiven’. (I read God controls everything..apparently not my mouth). hehe

What were we talking one and one about then? well you know basically rantings like, how i am the only one helping dad with hospital visits and coping mom’s  mood swings while rest of my siblings are just stuck on popping their eyes on iphones and being careless about their future ahead. And how stupid and retarded i am and how emotionally freak i can be sometimes ..and idk all the things  basically girls complain about i guess. And, YES,  it was going smoothly..God was not complaining back at me and i was going as  fluently as possible .



Then, i got a call from my cousin. She told me, that her only sister had committed  suicide leaving behind her 2 year old son and she was really depressed at the moment. And that she felt alone now and  didnot have any faith on having good days ahead or  God.  I was shaken. ‘Not to her again’ i thought. Her only sister was now gone, she had  lost her mother when she was really young and her father had died like just 5 years ago due to brain tumor. What could go worse?

I couldn’t say anything, except that it would be alright. And even though i don’t know what God is because  i just complain to him like chatterbox, i asked her ‘to have faith and that better days are yet to come for her’. Nothing else, because.. in that moment i realized how blessed i am. I just wanted to say to God if he was still listening to me, that ‘I am grateful of what i have. I may not have a perfect family  but it’s all that i ever wanted and all i will ever wish to have in my life.’ Although, i did have lots of questions like ‘why is it that always good people suffer? And murderers, rapist and all those criminals are making their life,living fly till 80s and 90s?’



But that will have to wait. Tonight, all i want to say to him  is ‘I lOVE AND  I WILL ALWAYS LOVE WHAT I HAVE. THANK YOU’. 🙂

Struggling through step by step.

Yup i have been a parasite. And i admit it.  And my  parents have been way too helpful on fostering this super quality of mine. But i also admit, i have been trying too hard to get out of this in my own ways.


As all the excessively dedicated  Asian Parents are, I am very proud to say ‘my dad and mom’ have been generous enough to help me achieve  my goals in every step, throughout my life.Till today infact. I am 20+(don’t want to spill my age here now..do i?? 😉 ) but i get my pocket money monthly..still!! i know.  It’s not much since my dad is the only one working but i manage well.( What could i possibly waste my money on? let me think??A lot of things!!! But i ain’t got it. LOL.)

Internet supervision.

Well i did use to earn my own cash back in my country.(i was always not like this..believe me… :/) But ever since i moved here, in the UK, i preety much feel at the bottom.  I am self studying at home to get my exams done. So, except getting part time jobs i have no option. And on top of that, it has been narrowed to ‘care home’ jobs since everyone thinks ‘a medic’ person will have better experience there. ‘True’ but all of those ask for experience or recommendations and i don’t have one. ‘Don’t work on resturants and bars’ i have been clearly warned… Buuuuuut after, having my melt down on discussion why i need to work and earn my own dough..i got out on ‘seeking a job’ campaign finally.

Main question however was-what is/are my super power?? :/



Tried looking all over the internet sites. My CV got only medical qualification and nothing else, literally… So i sat back blank thinking ‘How am i supposed to get a job?’. Finally after some minutes of brainstorming,  i decided to go door to door looking for one. But as you must have predicted,  at the last moment, my guts gave up on me. ‘Why look for one when you got your dad supporting for now? Get your exams done, start working on NHS and money is never a problem’..a well wisher’s note started hitting on my eardrums..

And i almost quit. But, Thank God i didnot stop. And lucky for me, a friend of mine  agreed to help me out..walking door to door, like door to door!! (and we met only 3 months ago!). I don’t know when and where will be hooking a job on my net just enough to survive but believe me’ ”””i will remember this day..



Lessons learnt..

1)It’s a tough tough world out there..my friend.

2)Indeed the bond of Friendship doesnot grow bigger with time than it does with help and caring.’

Happy Blogging 🙂

My school years.

School life had never been a fun one for me. You know how every movie has that one character who just wants to survive one another day in school, i was like that. Hussle pussle..hoff and puff..and a long breath out..finally today is over!! That was my daily schedule. It was a torture.. I Kept counting one less day everyday till i graduated high school, hence my habit ..of crossing out on calendars and planning extra details in my head about what would i do the moment when i would be free. Yeah..i admit i might have perhaps ZONED out often than i say i did but come on who cares, who cared..i didn’t. And yup, i would sit planning, looking like a retarded girl sticking my tongue out and staring at the board, thinking thinking thinking the whole period, sitting on the first bench in almost every school haha. limit of my audacity! I know!! Noone caught me..i might even have drooled saliva from angle of my mouth once in a while..but hey” i don need to tell you that!! Haha lets just say i was a planner to keep it simple.  ( i even imagined i would run wild..go bezerk the day my school was over..but that didnot happen!! 😑)


By the time i made through the highschool, i had jumped 2 classes and transferred 6 schools. I can’t explain the details although i will say,i had clean records and i was preety good student. Damn right i was! I was a prefect in two schools. And yeah who knows how to abuse powers than i do 😝 Just kidding. So the good parts of being a tourist student was, new faces. All sort of faces, starting from preety faces to not so preety ones to innocient to nasty ones. Some excited to know about you, being the  new student you are, some not so intrested. Anyways, except one or two, i don recall any of the faces. Why care? I am not going to see them anytime again, right? Beside on average 40 students in every class times 6 would mean i had to remember 240people, just acquaintance is not my thing. Well atleast, That  was my major survival instinct. 🙃

Image of school girl with backpack.

Another good thing is, whatever stupid things you do or mess you create settles when you leave the school. So basically, you are a free bird, not that i did anything like that to be embarassed about but you know how relieved you feel when there is no one to remind you ‘ you did this and you looked like a fool’..I skipped all that part if there ever was. Noone remembers, if i don’t 🤗 And ofcourse you get to enjoy secret admirers now and then..😉.

It’s funny now that i think of, above all people i met, the people i remember either were really nice ones or people who managed to stick out somehow..stick out as in, that kid who would constantly grab my bums or my skirt because…. he said he liked me. I was in class 2! who the hell taught him to grope bums to show affection. There was seriously something wrong in his family. Good thing my mother had a good one to one talk with his teacher,idk what happened next.  And then another school, that male teacher who had a habit of giving kisses on every right answer you give. Not just a cute peck on a cheek but u know..and after two or three times, i never raised my hand to answer. Now that i think of it, he only kissed girls. I have no idea how the next favourite one felt.

Another school, another , another you meet lot of jerks and some nice people too. Once in a while, you don’t even have to try adjusting. Everyone is hovering around either to just talk with you or have your homeworks copied, even teachers excuse you for you late assignments or bad test reports for your innocient smile. At Other times, it’s opposite, you get picked by bunch of senior girls who just don’t like you..Not that you were even talking or snooping around. They just think that ‘ you shouldn’t be you minding your own buissness and do what they tell you’. Oh well, yeah school literally sucked for me.

'Her special Talent is sulking.'

And although it did, Sometimes i wish i could go back again and do it right. Stick through all my years in one school no matter how crappy it was and made some honest real good friends. Sometimes i wish i hadn’t  been so jerk and made the best out of my situation instead of having a breakdown. Anyways, past is past. Never too late to set things straight.But  I do wish, everyone understood how truely precious school life can be and could have been for me as well with right friends…image

Don’t miss it ok 😊.



When Saturday and Facebook come together.. :)



Early morning its typical Saturday. My eyes hurt because i watched three movies all in one night yesterday. Don’t ask me anything. i can’t even recall the movies and who killed who..which was the main character in which..it’s all jumbled in here (pointing to my head)

Scrolling through my cellphone now, trying not to squint my eyes..checking facebook. Woah” my crush uploaded a new post..can’t see his face though, what a bummer. Would have been really nice to know how he looks after all these years in person. Intrested?? Hahha nah..lets just say watching him is a secret hobby. Oh” my ex posted something too. Gosh he is handsome! More of like cutie pie now..his chubby cheeks looks better than bunnies..i tell you that! Last time i checked, he had that picture with a gun shooting all the heart shaped cartoon stuffs..What happened to us? More like,what happened to me? He hates me now.I hate myself. i deserve that..i fell for a ‘computer screen’ can you believe that? ‘It dosen’t count’ his words ring in my ears… ‘It does..’ i remember my reply. And then ‘boom boom’ there went my first love with the wind..

It's a windy day!
A computer screen!! You must be shocked. Yeah how dumb..lol. That’s me. I am crazy hahaha. Don’t wanna go there now. Don’t wanna sit alone in that corner..sulking. But again,don’t be shocked when you see me hugging that screen. i am an emotional wreck. Not again..for God sake! Here is pepsodent..squeezing from the bottom of the tube..pea size quantity..brush brush..now smile. CHEESE!!




So back to facebook scrolling..all my ‘now’ friends, look jolly, working their butts off trying to achieve something.Nothing new. life paces fast forward for meds people. Although to whole world it seems like we are the one who is stuck.. ‘Are you still studying?’they ask, when they have graduated. Then the same question, when they have recieved their pay roll and again..when they are getting married.. ‘Will you please stop!’ Have some mercy, you are not the only one saying that to us. You are among hundreds..Though, yeah i admit ok” cuddling books on valentines day does suck. Happy now??hah

Bored…So i am scrolling my school friends. I was a meanie and the ‘unpopular one’. Needless to say, i don’t have any school friends in my friendlist. ok..ok.. i admit i even rejected a handful of requests. No reasons. So, i go through entire long process, of checking one of my bestie’s facebook and stalk some that i used to know. And wow! There is a difference right there..you can tell by the eyes the difference between a medic and non medic student. Life has been sucked out of us..help!!



I take back what i said in my first few paragraphs now. I do.My Life has been moving slow… is it even moving at all? When did that girl start looking like that? When did that boy become that? Omg..where in the world is that beach? When did these.. people even have the time to travel that far corner of the world? And most of all”’ why is she posting a picture of a 5yr old kid and saying ‘my son’!!. What is happening?..where was i? Somebody explain.

And here is the part..’You can’t even think of starting a family till you are a registar..if you are stop thinking right now’ that’s what a senior doc told me like just 3days back. I love babies.Not all the babies. But yes. Am i even going to have one?Well screw that! Am i even living my life right? To the fullest i mean..


Well after an hour of back and forth thinking here is what i have concluded. Everyone has their pace..some are slow like turtles, some are fast like hare.  None of us has same path..none of us has same time. We are revolving around our own orbit..what we make is upto us. What matters at the end, is how much we made of ourselves and how much we feel fulfilled ..before reaching that  red ribbon at the end. What do you think? i am WISE huh??  🙂

Their Happy Story. :)

What makes life a happy story? It isn’t math where 2+2=4 and you have countless formulas to reach to your ‘one’ solution. Infact i don’t even know  the definition of ‘happy’ what does it mean? Something that defines my  happiness isn’t bound to define  yours ,is it? Was Cindrella truely happy marrying the prince? Some say ‘yes’ others say ‘no’. Well i think only Cindrella knows  and ofcourse the writer.

Anyways, here is a story i wanted to share today that i think met a happy ending..what would you think.. do comment if you want at the end.  This is brother Deecha’s real life story about the girl he used to know.Before i start narrating in his own words, here is a question for you..’Do you think true love  exsistS?



You remind me of a girl whom i used to know a long time ago..(she was from same ethnicity as me)  That  girl, i had  fallen crazily in love with. I don’t know what happened then..i was blindfolded like a mad man. And just to spark a little intrest in her for me..i was willing to go through any lengths. I used to follow her around like a shadow.. everywhere,anywhere she would go, trying my best to grab any chances i could get to win her heart. But in vain,all those efforts yeilded me nothing but more frustation and desperation..

Needless to say  i proposed. A number of times..ended up getting rejected heartlessly. Still, that wasn’t stopping me. For I was determined she was the one i was supposed to be with. Why was I? I don’t know. It was obvious, everyone could see she didn’t understand a thing of how i felt.. For her, i was nothing but a pampered spoilt son of a rich family. Her parents weren’t fond of me either.They had warned me to stay away from their daughter on number of ocassions. But i couldn’t. They were very strict and too controlling.

Months and a year of persistence. Finally things started setting back on place for me. I was really happy. Everything was going right for us.. till that one day, she left for kathmandu and never returned back.

I started worrying..when she didn’t show up after few days like she had promised me to. So, I came to the city myself, searching for her. I looked everywhere i possibly could but i couln’t find a trace. I wish i had stopped then because eventually what i found out much later, devastated me. She had  flown  off with her parents to a diffrent country, never to be back again. And not a word was said to me, about it.

I couldn’t help but feel sorry for brother Deecha then and i couldn’t believe how  arrogant that lady was. This was the man who would have  brought the stars and the moon to her feet( well !!) . But, what he said  to me after he finished his story warmed my heart a little.

‘I wish things were different’ he said. ‘But i don’t regret a thing now. I did everything i could.’  

I didn’t know ‘what love is’ then but i think i understood what he meant when he said that. ‘When you  have done possibly everything to keep that one person.. yet if it still doesn’t work out, no matter how restless the heart is, it finally learns to settle in peace… ‘

The fact is, even before he shared his story firsthand to me, i had heard his mother tell her version of his story  many times .  She would say ‘i don’t know dear what did that girl do..Deechan was like a mind controlled puppet. He wouldn’t listen a thing i had to say. And then, when that girl disappeared he came to the city looking for her. In this place, where he knew noone and noone knew him. What did he do? How did he live?I   asked him to come back many times but he wouldn’t. i was scared, worried he might do something in haste‘.

At the time, I met brother Deechan (at kathmandu ), he had a little daughter and a beautiful wife. They were a lovely couple and a happy family together. Even, how he met his wife  has a story. Some people’s life are are like movies..aren’t they? Good for you,  I am noosey  hahha so here is what i found  out.

It so happens that, his now wife had been madly in love with a boy during her high school years as well. Equally crazy,  to the extent that she had cut her hands when he had refused to accept her feelings. After pursuing him what sounded like  many times times, she was utterly heartbroken.



And now, here they were..two heartbroken individuals, their edges coming together to make a complete heart. So lovely together.  My God bless them.






My art of ‘Overthinking’.



Yes it’s true..with how much thinking I do all the time I literally am pushing  my brain on the phase of explosion. Because, all these  thoughts rampaging ‘this’ vital centre, are not only are streaming live at speed of light but are random and illogical. God knows how my brain is keeping up. Indeed it wouldn’t be surprise to learn if my core processor heated so much that my scalp actually managed to hatch out some chickens from the eggs .. Haha. That would be funny!! Imagine, me walking with a big bun shaped like a nest with eggs on it and one or two yellow furry chicks chirping..

Not again. See? what did I say? I am thinking this and I am already writing about unrelated topic and laughing all alone in the room. Talk about height of ‘pitiful’ life… Lol. So, yes I was talking on the topic ‘Over thinking’.

We all do it. Some of us more than others (me the most!). Can’t help it, can we? Especially the moments that I consider embarrassing.. How with talent of overthinking ‘ant starts to look like an elephant’ to us. Suppose, I slipped and I fell in front of some people. Now the scenario thanks to my ‘over thinking brain’ would look like..

I slipped and I fell with a loud thud..people heard my bums, probably my hip bones making a ‘craaaa…ck’ noise. So babies started crying hearing the horrible sound, mother started sooshing their infants cursing me for breaking their peace, girls started giggling looking at the ‘mass of blob’ I had made of myself and boys started breaking into tears because they couldn’t help laughing at the amusing failed gymnastic performance I had given’.

Yeah, I fell. But it did not happen like how I think it happened probably!!hahah. Now that’s some serious talent isn’t it? Overthinking is an ‘art’. I tell you. But ‘overthinking’does adds extra details..sometimes extra stuffs too. So it is dangerous. Its inviting misery. And it’s not just on personal levels, it’s also on relationships and other things in life.

Especially true  for girls, I would say.

Lost-in-thought and found.

We expect our men to know telepathically our feelings and our wants. Utter the word ‘A’ and we are already expecting him to understand till ‘Z’. And when he fails to pull through, there it goes the rantings.. ‘he doesn’t get me and bla bla’ and our ‘world of thoughts with fairy tales starts crumbling’…

Hey, this dosen’t mean you get an easy excuse with your girlfriend. Maybe you ‘really’ didn’t get her!! Start putting some effort..you should read her mind like you’re a mind reader by now before… someone else does.   Coz you know what will happen next. (hahaha). Just ask her to cut you some slack once in a while, will you? And make sure you also her to tell  what she is thinking now and then to you. Believe me from a woman to woman, no matter how relaxed she looks, she is upto something in her head..

That being said now. Everyone knows ‘Overthinking’ is pathologic. And I am not saying here every girls are pathological thinkers. Don’t be scared.. unless it’s me. Haha. Sometimes, its good to think a little extra as in day dream and feel like you are on cloud nine. But that’s only good till you stick to reality. Make sure you don’t go astray where you can’t find a way to come back.



So here is the thing, Stick to the simple rule like my favourite quote says ‘if it dosen’t matter in next 5 years then don’t waste your 5 mins or 5 hours more thinking about it’. True isn’t it? After all Life is too short and already too loaded with many problems. You don’t want to create extra burden for yourself J

Early M thought. Depressing. Beware!! Nahh j/k.

Many times in life you can’t avoid feeling down even though you tell yourself ‘there is no place for sad thoughts in your mind’.

And you try talking yourself out,saying ‘Hey for God sake you are bachelor high on prime now, you don wana carry that emo face and go around mopping. If you wanna mop go and close yourself in the closet’. But it dosen’t work..which at other times mostly does.

And you throw yourself at the floor and watch the ceiling..thinking.. ‘You can change everything..start from scratch but your past and your circumstances will always be the same’.

Life Sucks.

It’s true. Isn’t it? Sometimes there is no escape. Not even a small hole that gives you a hope that one day if you are gonna starve yourself right you might actually fit through that tiny opening and walk out.


But  you plan for escape anyways in your head..extra detailed..if you are like me. (I am a planner!!!) I Think of disappearing into far away lands to oblivion all the time and start fresh. Yeah i know what the hell am i doing?

The thing is no matter what the circumstances were..you were never trapped. You can either submerge yourself and feel pity or make the best out of your circumstances and be proud. It sucks i know. I cannot even guess how much frustAting it is for you like you can’t tell how much is it for me. Noone is on the same page.

But hey..’Its all in the mind. DON’T let it beat you. You are gonna be ok at the end of the day’.