I ‘m sorry i happened to you

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The first day I walked into you. I was so nervous..i  never thought I would be chasing a guy.

But I did. And I swore, I just wanted to know you better out of curiosity.

You looked like someone I could know, I could remember.

You looked like someone out of past from whom I just recovered.

But I was never a person to trust in love, I was built in that way so I refused to feel at all. I would let anyone walk out and still have no regrets to live for.

Yet I don’t know why, I was so obsessed with you so I wanted to make sure we never cross paths but It grew out of control and I webbed you  in,into my world..with a promise that I could be your one, the one  and only.

You trusted me, weren’t we so happy ?

What happened then I don’t know..did you break my heart or I wanted to break yours?We have shed tears haven’t we? Did we lose all that we felt in those drops when  we were crying?

I can only blame myself for what  I cannot be, I loved you with all my heart,I gave you all that I could, my sacred first love and my first kiss.I still know how it felt when   you touched  my  hands the first time and blew it kisses while I wondered if it was ok?

And yes it was. I could look into your eyes and tell, with you I would always be safe.

You said you loved me and you would wake up all night staring. You said you would miss seeing me if you fel asleep. But If you did really love me ,why would you always be willing to give me away with your wrong choice of words ‘its for your sake’. If you did really love me, why wouldn’t you ask me to stay? If you did really love me love, why petty secrets  with lies of your fiddling hearts? i tel you everything  don’t I deserve to read some of your hidden cards?

If you did really love me baby, why such an easy goodbye when we had seen all these harsh years  together in the past.

I found you..but you saved me.

I am sorry, I was too lost I couldn’t see that you needed me.I am sorry for  being  a nervous wreck I had been. I am sorry you had to be an adult when I was such a baby..

But I missed us.. Even when you are by my side I missed us thinking what we could have been. I can only see us both dragging to the same circle from where we always wanted an exit. Couldn’t  we atleast  be two free birds when we were ‘just you and me’?

Do we even know eachother? All the little things that make us..Do you know me except all the big bag ruggage that I came with?Or have we been too afraid of our own selves lately? Tell me if I should  try to hold to this string before we crumble and everything  falls to pieces.

Goodbye love.

I only hope its not our last. Remember you promised me you would find us back.  Remember me.. for  I am only letting my  bird set free hoping someday it will come back to me. I know I am a fool , not for chasing you but letting you go. I am getting  numb and slowely you are losing your control..

If I had to do it again yes I would do it too again and again..the next time and the next, not repeating any of those mistakes..hiding away from you scared that you would break me if I fell any harder..hiding away from you scared that I would break you if I had a change of my heart later.

But I did love you. I did. I do. Did you love me for the person I was or as the one you wanted to see? I never asked. I dare not. They say Sky is vast.. should you find another love, mercy me too fit me in somewhere inside your heart for a safe keep in. As long as you are happy, I am happy. You were my charm, you were my strength but you were also my weakness the fact you couldn’t see.

I did love you. I do. And I will always.. whether you believe it or not.

Will you find us back? Save me one more time and I promise no matter how many times heart breaks I will save us. There will be no more tears, no more cries, no more hiding, no more running , no dramas just us and our beautiful world. You could even have that flat you wanted, have a teacup, have a pug. I won’t mind letting a house go, ditching some birds and hamsters and cats. Never really. i wouldn’t want Disney lands.  Because you would be worth all of  it. Because we would have all there is to have with our three beautiful kids..

I am sorry I happened to you.

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12 thoughts on “I ‘m sorry i happened to you

  1. I take it as a beautiful presentation of the mire of human heart. Unmapped and always whirling, but that’s where only the privileged can enter to know. For it’s the threshold of true love. No one has ever promised love is sweet from the beginning.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I seriously love your blog.. Excellent colors & theme. Did
    you create this web site yourself? Please reply back as I’m trying to create my own personal blog and would like to know where you got this from or exactly what the theme is
    named. Thanks! http://www.yahoo.net/

    Like

    1. Thank you Kristen again. ^_^!
      Its called twenty ten theme.
      Its actualy free and easy too. Go to the theme menu and choose any styles you want to give.
      Um waiting to read your posts 🙂

      Like

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